28 November 06 - 23:33Never a dull moment - Marla Cooks!!

Marla is a good sport or otherwise I wouldn't bother to mention this....   It starts with me listening to a speech which ends something like this, "... and I used to cook all the time, there is nothing wrong with my cooking skills!"

With this admonishment ringing in my ears I finished the day, slept through the night with dreams of being chased by monsters with brooms, followed by a new day.  A sunny Sunday, during the afternoon of which we shopped at Costco, a local warehouse type store featuring ordinarily overpriced brand name goods in oversized containers at reasonable, but nowhere near wholesale prices.  We spot a tasty lobster ravioli "kit" in one of the mammoth frozen food cases. Just throw it in boiling water, easy to make.  Lets try it, we decided so off we go with it.

Now picture the scene in the kitchen, Marla announces that the instructions on the ravioli don't make sense.  A short time later she announces that she now understands why two boiling pots are required as one is for the raviolis and one is for the alfredo sauce.  I start to read a book in the bedroom.

Suddenly Ashlyn starts yelling. come quick, come quick.  I sense an emergency, but find it is simply Marla burning up the ravioli package which is sitting on a red hot burner with a cold pan of water on the burner next to it.  No fire department required, but the raviolis are black (really black) on the bottom and the house is full of smoke.

Second try was the charm, fortunately since the packages are oversized from Costco there was a spare bag of ravioli for just such an occurance.  We can only be thankful for these small blessings.

Later I may tell you how the nice wife can ruin bathroom faucets simply by trying to clean them.

Never a dull moment.

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26 November 06 - 22:18Where was this Guy?

Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out the reasoning power of certain people and their ability to look stupid in an international forumn. Here is a great one.

The headline reads: India's Finance Minister Accuses OPEC of Rigging Oil Prices. Really, now. I thought everyone realized that the PURPOSE of the OPEC cartel was to manipulate oil prices. That's why they are called a Cartel!! I am thinking I am now getting old enough to see people who are either younger than me or have very short memories making really stupid statements. Where was this guy when they formed OPEC? Or where was he the day they taught the lessons at school in his formative years on how cartels and monopolies work.

Here is a news flash Mr. Chidambaram, OPEC was formed to control oil prices!! They are the Organization of Oil Exporting Countries. They control prices by limiting output which causes prices to go up.

For those of us who are too young to have learned the purpose of OPEC from reading the news when they formed, you should still be able to figure it out from reading the news today about what they do.  Remember your history classes and economics classes? Cartels are entities who group together to form a "virtual" monopoly for the sole purpose of controlling markets. Doesn't have to be prices they control. Monopolies and cartels can control who gets what and when they get it as well.

Darn.  I was going to post a couple of links but I am typing this on my new computer. It has Linux on it. My choice. I intend to learn all I need to know about Linux so I can avoid another monopoly . . . Microsoft.

Not a big deal, I need to configure Firefox to allow cut and paste for the domain I use for creating these pages. It is a "protection" that apparently is necessary to prevent something. I am not sure whjat it is intended to prevent, but today it prevented me from pasting in a few links for you. Trust me, I will get this thing configured as soon as I figure it out.

Later.

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18 November 06 - 08:46Upgrade from Hell (Internet Explorer 7)

Once again I have spent a significant amount of time installing and then uninstalling Windows Internet Explorer 7. This time it is the real deal, the last time is was a beta copy.

I don't know what level of stupidity I will need to load it again. Here are the issues:

1) Each time I have loaded it I experience trouble with other software; these issues are not apparent until that software is actually used again. Sort of a little surprise from the Microsoft folks to make your day interesting.

2) The first time I installed Explorer 7, I ended up reinstalling Windows XP, an all morning task, when the Microsoft Office Suite quit working, something to do with the "installer" software required.

3) I eventually purchased a fresh copy of Windows XP since my original copy was old and it was a lot of time to reinstall the Service Pack as well as the software (and I have no idea how to "slipstream" the two together).

4) Both times Microsoft Money failed and needed to be uninstalled, reinstalled and then repointed to the correct money file.

5) Internet Explorer 7 does not play well with TD Ameritrade's new software. Each time I move to a different task Explorer 7 opens a new "tab" with a title something like "Third Party Software" for the title. This is not an issue with either Internet Explorer 6 or Firefox 2.0.

I am very hesitant to get any new Windows software because they obviously release it without regard to functionality of even tneir own software. Boo hoo for me!!

Enough whining.

Later.

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16 November 06 - 20:47Male Blonde Joke?

From Jerry - a Blonde GUY joke.....

And well worth the wait?

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican! opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.  She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and wailed, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

(Oh this is GOOD!!)

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch........"

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15 November 06 - 21:05Marla in Space Wallpaper

Now you can own your own "Marla in Space" wallpaper.  Sized at 1024 X 768 I am using it myself on my desktop.  You can now do the same.  Simply press on the download button at the end of this short entry and when the wallpaper appears in the new window, right click the picture and choose "Set as Background" from the list of choices.

That's all there is to it.  Now you, too, can have a picture of Marla tooling around in one of the prettiest parts of our solar system.  This unretouched backdrop for your work is authentic and representative of the type of locations that Marla operates while cruizing in outer space.

Remember, for your own wallpaper press the button, right click, the "Set as Background."

Enjoy your free wallpaper!!

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14 November 06 - 22:13I can't believe it!!

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?" Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."
 
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" and the waiter said, "I don't know Senor, I'll ask the cooks."

A short time later the waiter returned from the kitchen with his answer, "No sir, no Mexican Jews."
 
Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely sure?"
 
The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos" gave the expected answer, "I will check again, Senor!" and went back into the kitchen.
 
While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."
 
The waiter returned and said "Senor, the head cook said there is no Mexican Jews."
 
"Are you certain?" Al asked once again. "I can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"
 
"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter, "All we have is Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews."

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13 November 06 - 19:39Careful what you wish for

I am really speechless regarding this photo.  A friend emailed the picture to us and there were shots from different "angles," but no matter how you look at this, it is hard to believe.

I can think of things to say like, "let's size up the situation" or "careful what you wish for."   I also remember thinking bigger was better when I was in my girl watching days, but this was not what I had in mind.

I certainly hope this is "natural" as I cannot imagine anyone wanting to pay have these things installed on purpose.

Jumpin Jiminy, I'm speechless.  I don't think there are enough letters in the alphabet to describe the cup size here (if "cup" is the correct term, bucket or drum might be a better terminology).

In the back of my mind I keep thinking this woman must have come home and said to her husband, "there was this genie and he gave me three wishes."

Darn!!

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13 November 06 - 01:24The other side of Space

I have been reading a few articles on astronomy lately.  What I found the most interesting was research that has been going on in regard to the center of our galaxy, the "Milky Way" galaxy.  Let's review, our galaxy is a spiral galaxy with a central core of stars and outer arms that spiral outward from the center.  The central core of our galaxy is thought to have a black hole roughly the diameter of the distance from the earth to the sun.  Recent measurements of stars in that area of space actually show a large amount of motion amoung stars there as they orbit the black hole. Maybe they are really going down the "drain," I don't know.  Anyways, the central part of our galaxy is in the area of the sky called the "Milky Way."  That is the area of the dense central part of our galaxy.

It turns out the Milky Way, has interesting things hidden on its far side. The Sagittarius dwarf spheroidal galaxy is positioned behind the Milky Way's center, where we can't see it. It was spotted by tracking the occasional star that peeks out enough to be seen.

Here is the neat part.  If our galaxy swings around so that our solar system is on the other side, we would be able to see this billion-solar-mass galaxy.  It would appear as the largest object in the night sky.

This galaxy would appear to be 40 times wider than the moon.  I have created a picture of the way I imagine the night sky would look if this were the case.

It would be an awsome sight to see such an object in the night sky.  Perhaps in 100 million years when we rotate to that side of our galaxy we will see this; or perhaps it will have been sucked into our own galaxy.  Anyways, it has me thinking.

Later.

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09 November 06 - 22:20Weeny Dogs

For some reason the doggies have become chickens, or should I say "Weeny Dogs."  They have had it pretty nice all summer, hot weather, dry lawn.  Now that has changed.  They go outside and it may be raining.  They decide they would rather not go outside.  This can lead to poor doggie choices.

That would be the choice to do a bodily function on the floor.

Even though the weather has been dry, they STILL don't want to piddle or crap on the lawn.  Peeing has been occuring along the edges with feet on the sidewalk.  I removed all remnants of poop so I can check tomorrow to see what they have done in the last 24.

I need to go now and get a book on doggie psychology.  Perhaps there is something that can be done. 

Until then, my dogs may very well be described as weenies.

I can hardly wait until tomorrow for more doggie bodily function monitoring.

Later

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08 November 06 - 23:15Mom Should Know

It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue.

Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. "Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" she says. That's cool.

Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do.

Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive in movie.

Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says  "Wha...aaat?"

"Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we'ed let her!"

Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. He doesn't say anything, but continues smiling warily at Peggy Sue's mom while mentally revising his plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with Her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good Evening kids," with a small wink for Harold.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly dishevelled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother,

"Dammit, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called The Twist!"

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06 November 06 - 08:20Poop Poop Dee Ooop!

I like black cars.  Not that this wouldn't be a problem with other colors, but it seems like black lends itself to greater contrast when the blessed event occurs.

My car is parked every night under a big old tree.  Big old tree.  Guardian of the magical bird turd machine.  The turdcaster is a nest which contains birds all the time.  It seems there is a drain pipe under the nest aimed directly at my car.  Now for the interesting part.  There is never bird crap on the driveway, only on my car.  Why is that?

The only good that comes of this is the driveway doesn't have unsightly bird dropping all over it.  The birds are much too happy to wait for my car.  It must nearly kill them to pinch their little cloacas shut until they spot my car.  Once their target is positioned they can relieve themselves with the knowledge their dung will ding the black car giving it that splatted appearance.

These birds even dropped a big one on my car between the time I had dried it after washing and the time taken to put the towel away!

It's not always nice to be popular...

In fact, they are probably out there right now preparing to drop a bomb or two as soon as the rain stops.  It wouldn't do to drop their white presents only to have the rain wash their handiwork away.

I'll fill you in later with the straight poop.  With a black car, this kind of thing doesn't go unnoticed.

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04 November 06 - 08:47World War II Navy

Previously I mentioned that my Dad was in the Navy (as was my Mom).  The Navy had all manner of ships in service during WW-II with a variety of purposes.  The largest of the fighting ships of WW-II were aircraft carriers and the smallest were probably PT-Boats (such as PT-109 which John Kennedy commanded).

There was also a fleet of ships called landing ships or amphibious ships.  There were LST's, LSM's, LCI's, etc.  Often these were not that large or fast.  There were over 1000 LSI's (Landing Ship Infantry), they were 160 feet long, and chugged along at a top speed of 14 to 16 knots.  They would carry troops and ram into the beach a front door would flop open and troops would land.  The little tub my Dad was on was an LSM (Landing Ship Medium).  An LSM was a ship which sailed from place to place on its own power unlike an LCU (Landing Craft Utility) which was the kind of WWII landing craft we see in movies.  The LCU was carried on a "mother" ship to the point of use.  Even an LCU, however, could sustain itself for a week on its own.

In the scheme of things you can look at the diagram.  Tin Can Man was on a destroyer during the war.  My Dad was on an LCM.  LCM's didn't even get names as far as I know.  I need to find out which number LCM he was on from my Mom.

I am planning on visiting LCM-45 when I get a chance.  It is the last one left and was on display in Nebraska.  It seems now it is moved to North Carolina to a new Marine Museum which will not be open until 2009.  What a bummer.

For now, note the size of the LSM and the destroyer in the diagram.  Click on the diagram for additional WWII ship size comparisons.

Later.

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04 November 06 - 07:15I Bin Had!!

While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle along the way and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?"

Osama responded, "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of-a-dog! Don't you know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything."

The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever."

Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed tomorrow morning. So just do it and be off with you."

The annoyed lady genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared.
 
The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side. His weeny was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance.

Later!

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03 November 06 - 22:28Politician from Hell

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in,  it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these  parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No  problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I  have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in  hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,"  says the senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with  that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down  to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with  him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet  him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had  while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a  friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and  champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly  guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such  a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone  gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door  reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time  to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.  They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by  and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and  another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The senator reflects  for a minute, then he answers:  "Well, I would never have said it  before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off  in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,  down, down to hell.

Now the doors of  the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with  waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking  up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was  here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,  "Yesterday we were campaigning......Today you voted."

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02 November 06 - 21:14Togs for Dogs - One more about Rugby

I had intended to not say anything else about Rugby unless there was a change.  Well. the change was not exactly what I was thinking.  The change is due to my honey getting Rugby some clothes.

Concern has arisen over the cold weather on the way.  The solution, although not obvious to me, is to buy Rugby a new sweater.  I didn't think the dog needed any clothes.  In fact I didn't think a dog would wear clothes for more than a little bit.

Rugby, however, seems to like his sweater and was upset when Marla took it off him.  I have to admit it is a sporty looking sweater.  It makes Rugby look very distinquished.

I need to go, Rugby wants me to admire his new dog togs.

I am no longer the best dressed man in the house!

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01 November 06 - 22:03Staple Removal

Although the incision and staple scar is not visible in this photo, Rugby is feeling better after having his staples removed.  It's been about 4 hours now since they came out.  He appears to be on the mend and is jumping around all over the place just like he did before "the incident" involving the lava rock.

He is a very sweet and smart little dog and I love him a lot, just as I do the other dog, my mom, wife, son, daughter, goldfish, etc.

The incision looked kind of nasty to me, so I didn't include a picture, but it is doing a good job of healing, so they say at the animal hospital.

They also said he can start eating his regular food, Perhaps working it in with the bland and soft stuff.  Of course, he is taking a doggy pain killer, but the pain from staple removal must be more a nuisance than a pain.  Probably prickly and itchy, although he just stared at me when I asked.

I'll keep you posted of any changes.  I expect from now on he will be about the same every day, except for the incision healing.

Later.

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